Thursday, December 22, 2011


I am so tired… I think I slept a grand total of two hours last night. It’s been so long since I’ve slept any longer that the hours and days all meld into one another. So it could have been two hours, it could have been close to four. Judging by my energy level (or lack thereof) I’m guessing it was the former. I tell myself, daily, that I’ll catch on sleep one of these days. The reality is that I suspect that won’t happen unless and until I have that nervous breakdown I so desperately deserve.

Christmas is just three days away and I am not even close to ready. I’ve truly dropped the ball this year. My house is only half decorated, my outside lights… well let’s not even go there, I haven’t baked a SINGLE cookie, not a present is wrapped and my laundry piles have grown to such monstrous proportions that I could probably lose a small child in one of them.

I’ve reached the “cut corners wherever you can” stage. I’ll start with the laundry. I’ll fish out enough clothes, underwear, socks and PJ’s for everyone for the next oh… let’s say five days (Yes I am THAT behind… looking sheepish…)and I’ll wash them. The rest will be “hidden”. Now wait a minute, don’t give me a load of crap. We’ve ALL hidden things in a pinch. If you say you haven’t you’re a liar or simply not normal. :)

After I hide the offending, undone laundry, which I will curse ferociously the day after Christmas, I’ll apply some FlyLady techniques to the house. The next three days are going to be a whirlwind of fifteen minute clean ups, 27 fling boogies and sink shinings. IF I’m lucky I may be able to sit down and RELAX after dinner on Christmas Eve. IF… I’m lucky. Sigh…

I need a little Christmas, right this very minute…

Friday, December 16, 2011

That moment...

...when someone gets way too close to the truth.

I am all too aware of my own faults. I'm my own worse critic. And apparently I hide behind worthless platitudes, cute sayings, horoscopes and other assorted crap all meant to make me feel better. (I'm paraphrasing a bit here.)

Nice, huh? But, if I'm being honest, somewhere in there lies the truth. The proverbial nail on the head was thus hit when it was also pointed out that I must be hurting, feeling lost and not sure which way is up. Well... duh! Ya' think?

That's sort of to be expected. I mean... OK... so it has been two years since all of this nonsense started. And I've been on my own for quite some time. One would think that I'd be at least almost over it all by now. But I'm not even close to almost over it.

I am hurting less than I was six months ago. I'm not feeling as lost as I did last Christmas. And I'm fairly certain I am traveling upward or at least in that general direction. I expect I'll fall a few times between now and whatever it is that is next for me. I'm absolutely sure I'll make some mistakes along the way. But I'm also sure that I'll survive.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

What the HELL is wrong with this country???

Firefighters stand by and watch a family’s home and memories burn to the ground over a seventy-five dollar unpaid fee. The absurdity of that should boggle the minds of any reasonable, quasi-intelligent human being.

Eleven year old boys are hanging themselves rather than endure yet another day of torture at the hands of their peers. Yes you read that right. Hanging themselves. No child should ever be made to feel so badly about themselves that they resort to such a horrific “solution”. And no parent should ever have to find their child like that.

Mothers are killing their babies, whether accidentally or intentionally, so they can go out and party instead of doing the job God entrusted them with. Many then get away with it! They murder their flesh and blood for a night out on the town and then they get away with it!!!! WHAT???? That is ludicrous!!!

And then there is this bit of brilliance (sarcasm intended)... this is one that raises my blood pressure through the roof…

On March 2nd 2011 the Supreme Court ruled that hateful protests at military funerals are protected under the First Amendment. These protests may include signs with vile messages such as “Thank God for Dead Soldiers”, “God is America’s Terror” and “God Hates Your Tears”. But hey, it’s ok. The First Amendment protects their right to voice their opinion. You want to know what I have to say to that??

F**K that.

I don’t give a rat’s patootie about their First Amendment rights. What about the family of the fallen soldier?? What about their rights?? Do they not have a right to mourn their loved one in private?? Are their rights not violated when they are faced, on one of the worst days of their lives, with these vile sub-humans and their detestable signs??

No matter your opinion on “the war”, our soldiers deserve nothing less than our full support and respect. While everyone is entitled to an opinion and I respect that. And I accept that others may not have the same value system and beliefs as I do. And whether I agree with them, or find their opinion vile and heinous, I support their right to voice that opinion… in a proper venue and at the proper time.

A funeral, any funeral, but most certainly the funeral of one of our fallen soldiers, is NOT a proper venue!! Period.

I do find some solace in that these so called Christians make themselves look like such world class dickheads; and that the lot of them can’t have more than a few working brain cells between them; that most intelligent people see them for what they are. And I, an intelligent person, have a suggestion for them….

How about you shove your obnoxious signs up your uptight asses and then kindly remove your revolting selves from the planet earth?